Why Do Kids Do That?!

I joined a women only gym down the street from our house (Fit for Her). We live close enough that we should walk, but I took Jonathan today so we drove. I made him leave his trail mix in the car, but let him bring in Cheerios to snack on. I got Kim enrolled too, but she hasn't gone yet (I've only been 2x). They have all kinds of cool things including massage chairs and tanning, but I really like the kid's play area. They don't have an attendant, instead they have a surveillance camera in the play room and it hooks up to a cable channel on the TVs that are on front of every cardio machine. Anyway, Jonathan did great while I worked out, he played with cars, watched Clifford on TV, and rearranged the small chairs. When it was time to leave I went in and he helped me clean up the toys and pick up some Cheerios he had spilled on the floor. He was being so well-behaved and so quiet that I began to get suspicious as we were walking to the car. I noticed he was drooling considerably and had that funny "my mouth is too full" look. I suddenly thought, "Oh no! What if he found something on the floor, or a small toy and is trying to eat it!" So I stopped him and told him to spit it out, which he did without complaint. What he had in his mouth looked like a brown pitted cherry half from a cherry pie, though considerably well-rinsed with baby saliva. It took me a moment to realize that it was a raisin! As we were walking into the gym he had stuck a raisin into his mouth. He had held it in his mouth for 45 min? No way. So I asked him what it was. "Razin, Mommy, yucky razin." he told me.

This is not the first time he has held food in his mouth for an unnatural length of time, but it is probably the longest amount of time. My child re-hydrated a raisin into a grape, because he didn't like it and refused to chew and swallow it, and wouldn't spit it out until told to! Why do kids do things like that?

Do I NEED to Work?

I got my first healthcard (an old-fasioned thing you used to need to work around food) when I was 9 years old. I helped out around my grandparent's North Tulsa donut shops. You know how weird it is when High School students can't give the correct change? How even some college students get stumped when you give them $2.01 for a $1.76 purchase? I was doing it just fine at 9 years old, and some people were as astonished as if I were pulling white rabbits out of hats! (of course, I was homeschooled) Well, I worked at least part-time from then on. I cleaned houses, I babysat, I was pretty much the assistant manager of an ice cream store when I was 15, I worked with Vetrinary clinics, I cleaned stables, I lifeguarded for the city of Tulsa, and more, all before I got to college! In college I worked as many as three jobs at a time, and each summer I spent doing all kinds of internships. When I couldn't drive, I walked to work or got rides, and through it all I did well in school, was involved in sports, music, church, missions, and drama! After college I started looking for a career, but in the meantime I still worked and planned my wedding and taught a Sunday school class.
Now, after being the career-spouse for over 3 years, I had myself convinced that I wanted to be the stay-at-home parent for a while. I had visions of myself cleaning and remodeling the house, taking care of the yard, making dinners, and basically being the perfect house-wife and mom. Now, I'm wondering if I am just not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. I signed up to be a sub at Wright Christian Acadamy. I thought it would just be a way to get out of the house now and then and make a little extra money, plus it would look good on a resume to say I did work outside the house now and then during my stay-at-home mom time. I guess there have been a lot of people sick. The school has called me to sub about 3 days a week for the last few weeks, and the principle mentioned yesterday that they may offer me a part-time job teaching history, English, and maybe even Greek. So, I guess that would really cut short my "stay-at-home" mom time. It just makes me wonder, do I have some sort of weird need to work, can I not just not have a job?

Potty Training...IN PROGRESS...

I never wanted to be that parent who let their child run wild in a store, screaming, crying, and making messes. I only have limited control of those things, so eventually I know I will be that parent whether I want to or not. I didn't want a pacifier in my baby's mouth all the time, but...well it happens. I wanted to be a diaper-free zone when my kid was 2, but some things are just not up to me.

We tried "pick out your own potty, and make it a special thing," but he got bored with it (not unlike with other "toys"). So, we tried "Spend 3 days naked from the waist down, so they see what's going on," but that just left a lot of messes to clean, especially after the dog decided it was some kind of "mark your territory" game. Try explaining why the dog gets smacked, yelled at, and thrown outside for doing it, without making the kid really confused about the whole thing! Plus, he got sick and then I did, and we passed it around for weeks. Maybe the "bare butt" approach will be more successful in the summer...

Anyway, we have tried rewards (big ones for success, little snacks for trying) and he seemed to like those for a while, but he is just not really interested in the potty very much. We thought for a while that it was starting to take; he asked to go a few times a day, but never actually did anything. We soon discovered that he just wanted us to read Curious George (the book we had in the bathroom to read while we waited). When we took Curious George into the living room, all interest in the potty ceased.

I'm stumped. Any suggestions on peaking a kid's interest or making your kid want to try?

Get a New Baby...

At church yesterday I ran into Amber (formerly Decker) and her husband and three kids (the baby is still tiny!), and we stood and talked until my boys got bored and began playing hide and seek in classrooms. When we were all saying good-bye, Jonathan said bye-bye to the baby, then ran off to keep hiding (he didn't really want to go home to the inevitable nap). Mark and I "searched" the classroom for him, and then in very loud, very disappointed voices announced to the "empty" room that we couldn't find our baby. "How sad!" I said, "Oh well, Daddy, that nursery had lots of babies, I guess we'll have to go get a new baby!" Mark agreed and we started to leave the classroom. Out of the bottom shelf of an open cabinet rushed Jonathan, all smiles and talking a mile a minute, "I found me! I found me! Go get a new baby Mommy! Go get baby now." When I asked him if he wanted a new baby he said, "Huh, (short for uh-huh) go get baby now." I asked what we would do with another baby, but by this time his cute dialogue had exhausted itself and we had moved onto a tired tantrum about running out the door without holding Daddy's hand.

It makes me wonder how he would really react to a baby if we had another. This is the first time he has said anything like this, and it makes me wonder if he was just teasing in the spirit Mark and I were. The last time he had to be around an infant it was Brandon and Elisha's 4 month old in a bouncy chair and Jonathan walked past baby Tanner (by the way, the picture with Jonathan's is "scary" baby Tanner) as if he was a poisonous snake that might strike if he got too close. It was almost funny to watch him carefully sidestep past the nearly immobile baby's reaching hand, with a nervous look of concern and concentration on his face! Anytime a smaller "baby" tries to play with him, Jonathan acts horrified and tries to cringe away. He has even cried on occasion when a baby has crawled up to him to take or investigate a toy. At least he never hits, pushes, or tries to hurt the baby; he just seems REALLY uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn't think it's so funny, but I do!

There's No Place Like Home...

Well, we have gone to churches here in town, first Garnett (so sad), then Memorial with Kim (full of nice people and we made some friends), then Park Plaza, and then Crosstown. I really like Mitch Wilburn's preaching at Park Plaza and the singing; they are remodeling the nursery (supposed to be really fancy too); they have active missions, young families, and youth and children's programs; and I know a lot of my old friends and mentors go there now. I really thought we had found a great church, but my father-in-law informed us he will not go there with us, and my mother-in-law has only come with us once without him. I would really like the whole family to go together somewhere.

I don't just want to find a church to go to on Sundays, I want to find a place we can really invest in, get involved in, and become a part of a church family in. I don't feel like Mark is in as much of a hurry as I am to settle into a church though, and that frustrates me, because it's not my decision, it's our decision. I would like to still be involved in youth ministry as a volunteer, and support children's programs that Jonathan is in. I want to go and find people to connect with, ways to donate time and talents, and just generally get to know people. So far, we have only gone on Sundays, and this was the first Sunday we even went to Sunday school as a family (Jonathan and I went once, but Mark was visiting Chad with his mom). We haven't gone on a Wednesday, a Sunday night, or to any other events. Tonight Park Plaza was having a chili cook-off, and I wanted to enter some chili just for fun and to be involved, but Mark didn't want to go. So, I took a nap and when I woke up it was too late to go at all. I'm beginning to feel guilty that I'm giving in to him too easily, but I don't want to force him into going, I want to find a church we all want to go to and be involved in.

The young families class we attended today was packed (at least 30 people) and that was even with a lot absent because they were having babies or being sick. The people were really nice, but they are all older than us (7 yrs avg I'd say), they all appeared to have more financial means, and they were all friends already. Plus (and this is just my insecurities I suppose) almost all of the women looked perfect. Perfect hair, perfect make-up, perfectly dressed in fashionably casual size 4 outfits. Despite all the warm welcomes, the efforts to reach out to us, and the sincerity they showed, I just did not feel comfortable. I felt like the nerdy little freshman make-over project invited to the popular senior group at the beginning of a teen movie that ends in humiliation and a lesson about being yourself.

I just kept thinking how much more fun youth group would be.

I want to make friends my own age, I want to know parents with kids that Jonathan can be friends with, but I feel so fake, so insecure, so posed with other adults. I try to be funny, but I'm not great at that, I try to smile, but it's forced. I love how kids can just open up to each other, embrace differences, and accept friendship in any form. I hate second-guessing myself, and the embarrassment that comes with saying something that gets horribly misinterpreted, read into, or just plain sticking my foot in my mouth when trying so hard to be nice, funny, or clever. I guess I try too hard, I don't want to be boring.

We have talked about going back to Memorial to visit some more, and I'm sure we could get involved there too. I have a few friends there who I know would love to see us come. Park Plaza is having a ministry fair next Sunday, and if we don't see any ministries that Mark likes, I guess we will go back to Memorial for another try there. I just feel like I'm wasting my time, when I want to be investing it.

Issues at 2008 Tulsa Republican Convention

The statement of principles below is one of the things that makes me proud to be a member of the Republican party. They mention God several times and morality, sanctity of life, preserving the integrity of the family, and so many other things that I not only believe, but things I believe in. I thought God was dead in politics, but the chairman of the convention was actually commended for calling for prayer in the midst of a heated council debate. When I get a link to the revised list of specific issues addressed in the platform I will link it, but the copy I have is incomplete (even though it is 3 pages long). Plus I am tired of transcribing it all into my blog, and will probably go to bed soon. I hope the information from my last few posts is informative and helpful to everyone who reads them.

Tulsa Republican Platform (2008)

Statement of Principles:

"God who gave us life gave us liberty."--Thomas Jefferson

The United States has attained its position as a world leader and champion of freedom by protecting our God-given liberties.

We believe our rights come from our Creator. We believe in the unalienable rights of the individual. It it a government's first duty to protect these God-given rights; to life; to liberty; to property; to the pursuit of happiness.

Government is but one institution among many that exist to serve the common good. Families, religious communities, businesses, the press, and a host of voluntary societies have their roles to play in meeting the needs of society. As Republicans, we seek to reform government so that it performs its proper role with excellence and efficiency, while leaving room for the other institutions of society to thrive.

We believe that today's government is too large and intrusive, exceeding its proper scope, doing things for which individuals and private organizations are best equipped. We believe families, communities, and institutions of faith can best teach the American values of honesty, responsibility, accountability, hard work, compassion, and mutual respect.

We believe that the functions of government should be handled at the level nearest and most accountable to the people.

The Tulsa County Republican Party seeks to apply these time-honored principles at all levels of government:

• Faithful adherence to the US Constitution as originally intended;
• The sanctity of human life, from the moment of conception to its natural end;
• The equality of all people before the law--that individuals should be judged without regard to race, gender, creed, disability, or age;
• Public integrity--enforcing and administering the laws justly, in the fear of God;
• Restoring and preserving Judeo-Christian morality in our culture;
• Respecting the dignity of each individual and the integrity of families;
• Fiscal responsibility and restraint;
• Defense of property rights;
• Promotion of free markets, free trade, and freedom throughout the world.

At the federal level, we call for maintenance of a strong national defense, protection of our freedom of religious expression, and protection of our rights as law-abiding individuals to keep and bear arms.

We support the right of Americans to retain their hard earned wages through the substantial reduction of the federal income tax rate and the establishment of a fair taxation system.

We believe in personal responsibility and individual accountability. We desire to limit government involvement in our communities. We will work to reform or eliminate impersonal, inefficient and redundant programs, while encouraging individuals, families, and private organizations to exorcise their civic responsibilities, act with genuine compassion and offer assistance and care to people in need.

We believe it is the right and responsibility of parents to direct the upbringing and education of their children, without interference, regulation, or penalty from the government. We therefore support the right of parents to choose the method of schooling for their children, whether public, private, charter, home schooling, or other means of education, without interference from the government at any level.

In our public schools, we seek to restore academic excellence. We believe the primary goal of our educational system should be to teach proficiency in the essential subjects, not to indoctrinate children in a worldview at odds with our nation's heritage.

We believe that the best choices are not always the easiest, and that decisions which take commitment, sacrifice, and perseverance result in more honorable, longer-lasting solutions. We believe the Republican Party provides the best opportunity to translate these ideals into positive and successful principles of government.